Once Issai was out of the box it was clear that he had a lot to say and wanted to share with the world. This inner part of me. Through this process I came to and am continuing to discover is the trinity within myself. The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. Issai, as the child energy feels closest to God. Pure Love. Honest, curious, playful and innocent. The day everything was all out and with so much to say I asked him if he wanted to use the computer. He was super excited. So that night, after everyone went to bed, we took out the computer and began having a beautiful, honest and loving 41 page conversation that inspired me, touched me and gave me more clarity about myself, my soul and a part of me that had been trapped by an experience I had when I was young.
Issai: This is an amazing day!! I love this day! I get to type!! Yeah!! It's about time! I love typing. Especially fast. Even though I’m not very good at it yet. I love to do it. It's fun. It reminds me of long trail school where I went to 7th and 8th grade. That was really fun. I got picked on but that's ok.
It was a fun kind of being picked on. There was a lot of really nice people there. I wanted to do theatre but I was scared. Kristin was really intimidating and serious. Kristin was Kris. She was really protective of me. That was ok. I missed her. It was nice having her around. Even though it felt weird. I loved having her there and Dave and Renee were the best even though I didn’t like English she was really really nice. I liked her teaching style even though it was hard. I used to use the computers all the time and play games and learn and stuff. I was really bad at Spanish. Though I took it. I’m not sure why. It was a lot of work. I liked that Katja was in there. I liked her a lot. She was beautiful I had a huge crush on her. She was a year older then me. I remember the day I called her and called her so many times I kept hanging up just after a ring or less. I didn’t realize it was ringing over there too. They were really angry when they finally picked up the phone because I was courageous enough to let it ring for more than 2 times. I could tell by their voice. I asked her to go skiing with me and she said yes though it felt like a lot of work to get it all scheduled. When we scheduled it it didn’t make much sense because it was going to be a half day in the morning which meant we needed to pay for a full day. My mom was willing because she knew I liked her. She had just got a perm. She was from Austria and had long curls and was so beautiful. So pretty. I liked her so much. When the date canceled I just cried and cried. I was so sad. She was so super sweet and smart. The smartest girl I ever knew.
Richard: Always a balance. You know your stuff when it comes to sweets. I like the food you like too. It's fun to see what you eat. The veggies with the broths and soups and stuff and curry are amazing!
Issai: THEY ARE SO GOOD!! THANKS FOR LETTING ME EAT SO WELL WHILE I AM HERE. I LOVE THE FOOD SO MUCH. YOU STARVED ME FOR A REALLY LONG TIME. THAT WAS REALLY HARD AND PAINFUL.I HATED THAT. It hurt every time I got up and I was trying to sleep and it was really hard. It was really hard though the stuff that you wrote sounded amazing, It sounded like so much fun. Like your dream like you plan. Like your vision for the future can we write that down for life and for you! Can we write that tomorrow and start on it asap. You’re being really nice to me tonight. !
Richard: You deserve it. I love you so much. So very much. Let’s do this together! All of it. Ok?
Issai: I miss dad. He was wonderful . He was so nice. He took us fishing and on camping trips and on sledding rides on his snowmobile sled and skiing and to the swimming pool even though I got hurt. Mom blamed him for so much. That wasn’t very nice. Kristin hit me with a sled that wasn't very nice either. It hurt a lot. There were a lot of people on that sled. I loved that hill. It was really fun. Can we rent that cabin and stay there for a couple nights and do writing and remember dad and celebrate him and sled and go to the pond and snowmobiling and hiking and stuff? Or in the summer can we camp at the bottom of the hill! AND GO GET A PIZZA AND PLAY VIDEO games again there?! That was fun and stop by the evergreen resort and jump off the diving board. I promise I won't fall backwards. Promise.
Richard: Ok. And we can look up at the stars and at Orion. The was the one that dad showed us that night off by the Parking lot. We can play video games here too and stop by and see the horses. That’s important. I’ll take care of you. Do you want to ride a bike there?
Issai: YEAH!! That would be super fun. It sounds hard but I can do it. I like the challenge. It sounds like fun and we can meet lots of interesting people and eat lots of fun food and stuff.
Issai: Is what we are eating too sweet?
Richard: Na. I like it. I’m getting full but I'm ok with it. You can eat as much as you want. Tonight is your night.
Issai: I remember the house in Maine. It was really nice!! I was scared to go to bed on the top bunk because it was so high I fell off of it that one time and it really hurt and the toilet scared me though other then that I liked it. And the area upstairs was really cool the fire place and the living room was really big . I remember the bats that used to get in the house. That was crazy and the time that I burned my hand on the sprinkler on the 4th of July and we ate corn on the cob. I was 4 years old. That was fun even though I hurt my hand. It was a good time. Carol was there too. I remember her. I want to see her again and say hello. I think that would be nice. To see her again. Things are so interesting now. Where is everyone?
Richard: They are all dead.
Issai: That makes me sad. Liked Uncle Tom and Joe. They were really nice people and they were always nice to you and me. I liked the toys that Tom gave us. Mom hated him. I didn’t understand that. Mom scared me a lot. I’m glad we left and then I was sad we left because I missed my mommy. I missed her cooking and her heart and seen her in the mornings in bed with her tea and the donuts. I like donuts. Those were pretty good but I liked Duncan donuts more. Those were really good ! Can we get a dozen one day when we get back to the United states! I’ll pick 8 and you can pick 4. How does that sound?
Richard: You can pick all of them if you want.
Issai: Na I like to share. But. Haven’t had them in a while so I really want to have a bunch. I might get sick but I can eat slowly. I like the blueberry ones and the jam ones and the chocolate coconut ones. Those are so amazing and happy meals!! Those are amazing!! Grandma used to get those for us and those were amazing. I Got one with a Grover book that one time. It was so wonderful. She let me have two. I also got a 20 piece McNugget, a shake( Strawberry but you can get mint. I like that too) and friends. Extra big. This amazing dad used to say keep your eyes on your fries and he would take them. That was funny until it wasn't. I liked my fries. Mom was really mean to dad. She wasn’t very fair to him. It made me angry how she would talk bad about him. I wanted to protect him and defend him. That was really important to me. I remember the time I got burned. That was my fault because I didn’t want to put on sunscreen. I hated sunscreen and then he got in trouble. That wasn’t fair. I was angry with mom for that. She used every opportunity to make him wrong. That wasn’t very nice. I didn't like her for that. She was mean and those times she stopped talking to me for weeks at a time. I didn't understand what I did wrong. It felt so unfair. I didn’t understand what she was doing and why. It was mean. She was mean. I wanted to leave her and go to stay with other friends all the time like Arlene Weisenberg. She was like a mama to me. She was so nice and Anita !! She was amazing!! They both were so nice to me. So super nice. I’m glad that things worked out the way that they did with our friendships. It felt like a real family shone I stayed with them. I miss being with family. Being with friends and people that I can play with. Like tennis and stuff. That was really fun and amusement parks!! I love amusement parks!! You promised we can go to Disney World!! Right!!
Richard: Yes of course. We are going to Disney World and we are going to go for an entire week or more. Whatever it takes to stay as long as you need to see the entire kingdom and ride every ride. It would be so much fun to take you. We can even ride some of the rides 2 or 3 times. As much as you like.
Richard: I am so excited and you said you want to go to EuroDisney.
Issai: That sounds exotic and kind of scary but I'll go. Is it like Disney world?
Richard: Yup! Only more French.
Issai: Cool! I like French people. They were really nice and the language is really beautiful.
The people are pretty too but I hear they smoke. I don’t like smoking. Mom used to smoke all the time and that wasn’t very fun. I hated that it made me so angry and sad. She never listened to me either. It was always about her and her problems and dad. I was so sick of hearing her talk about how terrible dad was. She was so mean to him and I don’t know why. I thought he was ` really nice man. He was a really nice man. Even so Dad was great. I liked the van that we used to travel in. It was super fun and we used to play Kenny Rogers and listen to fun music. He always kept the banker on. That drove me crazy Was like DAAAAD!! Your blinker is on. I think his hearing was bad even though he had really big ears!
And then I just stopped saying anything. It just blinked on and on and on. . it was was crazy nuts. I lived in a house in Gloucester too. That was really nice. I remember when I went into the coffee table that hurt a lot. The iron bars. I still have a scare.
Richard: You do! It’s on your nose
Issai: Do you like it
Richard: It's fine. I don’t notice it anymore.
Issai: ok. I like it. It reminds me of dad. He was a really nice man. He played catch with me and he also bought me really cool toys like race car sets, and rough riders and other cool things. Mom bought me transformers. I loved those. those were the best much better the Gobots. Gobots suck compared to those. The black plane Mirage was my first one. I remember I got it in Springfield, VT when we were at Grandmas.
Richard: You are thinking of the 6th sense.
Issai: I do see dead people. I am like that kid inside of you. I see them do you want to see them
Richard: Sure. Can you show them to me?
Issai: Sure! Anytime there are everywhere. Are you serious?
Richard: Yes please. Show them to me anytime
Issai: They are really nice - the dead people. They are everywhere they are all around you. Some of them you see and talk to and others you don’t. I'll let you know when they are there. And they, some of them, think they are alive. They don’t know they’re not dead. That's why you like that movie so much. Miguel and Francis are two of them (names are changed)
Issai: Yup! that's why Miguel is so sad and Francis likes you so much. They are in a different world.
Issai: Yup. You don’t understand yet but you will. It's really interesting. They are really nice people. Miguel can help you and so can Francis. They are really nice people even though they are sad and playing weird together. There are more. You’ll see. You don't know what's going on. There is a combination of alive and dead people here. It’s really cool you’ll know by their eyes. They have this thing about their eyes. You'll see. I'll show you
Richard: Ok. That seems really weird
Issai: I know. I thought it was weird too. They don’t know they are dead
Richard: Am I dead .
Issai: You are dead though you don't know it and you’re different. You're in a different space. It's different, you’ll see. It’s like you're dead but not dead. Like me. I’ve been hidden away and you’ve been hidden away too. Like we were hidden from each other and it's a kind of dead. You’ll see, but it's not. You’ll see. Just follow me. I’ll show you.
Issai: People are weird. People don’t know they are dead and then they try to do things thinking that they make a difference and they do but they don't. What they are remembering is how to play again. How to connect again, how to be again. How to be alive again .that's why they are here. To remember how to be alive again. You’re remembering how to be alive again, it just takes some time. You’ll see. And when you’re ready you’ll be alive again and go on a huge adventure!! it'll be fun and we can go together. Just keep doing things and answering all the questions and having as much funds you can and we can do this together. We have a lot to learn from each other and we can combine forces. Sounds weird huh. It is kinda weird. I love you. I hope you know that. Thanks for keeping me safe even though I’ve been really angry with you. You still keep me safe and took me on lots of adventures. Lots of really big adventures.
Issai: I want to make lots of money so we can have a good time and take care of other people have travel and share and buy things for girls and cool equipment for adventure stuff and play in nature and talk to people and eat lots of amazing food. That's the best part is the food and the cool people. I like people. I like to see what people do and how they dress and stuff. And why they are here. They all have a purpose and they get to share their stories with us. We are stay tellers. That's important. To tell other people's stories and let them know that they are here. The dead people and the ones who are alive. It is time for us to share other people’s stories. That's why you are here. To learn how to talk to the dead people and then share their story. that's the fun part. I can already to that. They play with me and they let me play with them. that's the best part. Some of them are scary and some of them are sweet but all of them are really good people with really cool stories. Do you want to collect stories?
Richard: Yes I do. That sounds like a lot of fun. Do we get to do it while we are on an adventure? Do we get to see mermaids, and fairies and trolls and stuff?
Issai: I hope so!! The sounds amazing!! Though I wonder what they eat. They sound gross. But that’s ok. Can we put socks on? I still have a lot to tell you.
Richard: Okay we can go over to the other seat if you want.
Issai: Let's read stuff that's fun! Like books on adventure and quantum physics.
Issai: Yup! I like that stuff. I'm really smart ya know I know a lot more than you think.
When I was in grade school mom made me stay back because she said I was too smart and then forced me to stay in the younger class so I didn’t stick out. That made me mad. So I stopped being as good at math. I'm really smart. I like math. Let's read about that stuff. Like light and stuff. You’ll see. I have a lot of smarts. I don’t care if people think I'm too smart. I played dumb so I would get in trouble anymore. Mom was mean about a lot of things and she was really nice. I loved her so much. She was really pretty too. I don’t think she thought she was. She was always trying to be pretty and she just was pretty. She was always pretty. I liked her more with the black hair than the blond. I liked the blond. She was pretty. Dungeons and Dragons was really fun too! Can we read a book like that too! I want to read a book like that and go to the world. I promise we'll have fun with dragons. The blue sword. I always wanted to read that series of books. Can we read it!? Please! We got it for Charity when I had a big crush on her. It was an amazing grouping of books. I promise it will be worth it and you’ll be engaged there is a lot there for you took look it up now
Issai: We will have to do it in the morning. I’ll look it up there. I promise.
Richard: We will go to class though we may just lie there. If we do its cool
Issai: Thanks! You’re the best! I missed you!! You’re the best. Thanks for taking care of me. Let's read fun books too!! There is another dungeon and dragon series I want to read. it is green. With a gold dragon on the cover. I'll show you the one. It's really good. Those are amazing! Can we read those?! Of course. Let’s space them out.
Richard: Ok. I'll read one trilogy
Issai: And then one of the other quantum ones. You’ll be so glad you did!