Updated: Nov 13, 2021
The last few days have been dynamic and varied in heart and the world. I saw my partner off to Boston and myself off on a new adventure. An adventure that promises everything as long as I stay the course. Trusting my intuition is the biggest piece and allowing myself to feel everything in the way of resistance along the path. It is so much easier with my partner. As much as I have seen embodying it through trust and allowance is so key. To experience it to a point of knowing. To a point that it is normal and that we are able to be conscious creators. Allowing ourselves to playfully create and rest in awe and things manifest before us. Things we have wanted and more as the universe continually one-ups us always reminding us that there is more. Because our co-creator is the universe and the universe can do anything and the fun part, if we can trust, is that we can’t see it coming. We just need to trust. It makes me want to cry and often do. How much the universe continues to show up for me and the simple and magical ways that it communicates with me consistently surprises me.
Yesterday was tough. So many fears coming up to dance as I laid in a cold garage under a cover while I tested out my bevy sac and liner. The past two nights it started to get cold. It’s finally in the 40s and 30s at night, while the day has been in the 50s. I realize how much easier this would be in the summer and spring. I found myself wondering why I feel so called to do this now without using money or GPS. Part of me knows and the parts that don’t are terrified. Discovering how to genuinely play and manifest in this world in a way that has integrity, excitement and authenticity. As I approach each moment when there is fear I can see the split energy that creates resistance. I also see how it can be split even when there isn’t any fear. I went to Whole Foods today not because I was hungry, but because I was excited to try a few samples. I love Whole Foods though I also see the underlying energy that feels like I am just there to take something from there because I know i am not purchasing anything rather than co-create an experience and celebrating Whole Foods. I wasn’t hungry - just excited. Then I felt called to Cafe Nero And almost didn’t go. I felt a bit defeated form the experience at Whole Foods though decided I just wanted to trust my intuition and get out of the cold for a minute and regroup my energy. So I went inside to get some water for my bottles. Moneek helped me and then I went back and asked them if I could warm up and chill for a while. They were cool with it. The decor was fun and chill. So I sent a couple messages and started sharing what was coming up for me on my computer screen. So much fear. Especially with regard to the cold. I have very little protection. That was part of the plan. So I accept that though now it’s getting real - meaning now I can feel it. The drop in temperature was fairly dramatic. I have my hammock, an emergency bivvy layer and another thin layer that is like a thin shirt body suit. They help though less than I expected. Now I can see my nervousness coming up though I also know that is necessary in order for it to shift. That’s important. It comes up because we are scared to feel and when we do and allow it it reallocates the energy. We are designed to feel. So letting that story come up and be felt is powerful. Once that happens the energy is dramatically less split if not completely realigned into flow And with it we are able to use the energy to feel, play, and create with more ease and presence. It is such a testament to Wim Hof's work in the world.
I had the intuition to come to Greenwich verse trying to get a warmshowers location Trusting that there is something here for me. An experience that I couldn’t see. We can never see it coming. That’s the fun part. I’m about to leave Starbucks. They are closing down. I’ve been trying to get a warm as possible before I leave. I have a camping location option though would prefer to be indoors if possible tonight. I’m curious how this plays out. I’ll just follow my intuition and see what happens.